Webster’s defines “romance” as trying to influence someone with personal attention, gifts, or flattery. I’m guessing a woman wrote that because any man I know would have said “stuff that feels good but isn’t sex.” Sure both sexes enjoy thoughtfulness (my favorite remains the ex who found one of those Carvel ice cream cake with crunchies in the middle for my birthday, knowing these were the staples of every party I had growing up) but the romantic commonalities end there. And since your guy might not be as forthcoming about his softer side I’m here to fill you in on how to romance a man…
Get him far, far away
For a man, traveling has the same effect as putting on a tuxedo— we get to act like someone else… or at least a more refined version of ourselves. Changing up the scenery allows an escape from the routine and, in turn, time for things that get cheated by that grind– like romance. My “good” relationship went to “great” after a week in Ireland. Once away, we seemed more in tuned and attentive to each other… plus there’s just something about staying in a hotel that makes everything (and everyone) a little more fun. Even better, we brought some of that energy home as a souvenir.
Don’t ask, just do
My brother had been cooped up in his apartment all weekend working to meet a deadline when he received a text from his girlfriend: “look outside ur door”. He did, and found a basket filled with all sorts of snacks and energy drinks. She was long gone and when he called to tell her to come back, she refused, saying, “Get your work done so we can play later.” People always use the ‘if you need anything let me know”’ line, but she (literally) delivered. He says it’s the most romantic thing a women’s ever done for him.
Make us feel like a stud
One thing that makes us feel like a real man is the belief that we’re keeping you content in the bedroom– so anything that affirms this is romantic, at least by the guy definition. References to how well we kiss, looks of satisfaction when the subject of sex is broached… they all prop up our ego. And if things aren’t going so great in that department (perhaps you’ve been together a while and sex is getting routine), feeding him a little reinforcement may be just the jolt he needs.
Support his foibles…
My old classmate, Brian, lives a little in the past. He still talks about the time he scored three touchdowns in a high school football game and his girlfriend’s heard all about it, too. But at a recent party when she mentioned what a great athlete her man was, Brian couldn’t stop beaming. It mattered to him and she knew that, so she took pride in it as well.
… and his indulgences
My friend, Dom, lives for the soccer. He even adjusts his work schedule and wears an Italia jersey to watch soccer games. His fiancée could care less about any of it so when she called him to find out how his team did, he thought she was being sarcastic. Turns out Dom’s beau had genuinely reached out– but declined an invite to a rowdy sports bar for the semi-final. Hey, she’s not Mother Theresa.
Wake him up naked
Nothing beats seeing you naked so imagine the impact when it’s the first thing we see… but this is supposed to be a blog about romance, you say? Believe me, you, naked in the morning light will make him swoon. And then he’ll want to have sex. Ok, maybe you’re right.
Note: I’ll be on vacation next week, back with a new blog July 12th. Happy July 4th!