I couldn’t help but notice…

In a way, I’ve been preparing to write this blog since 6th grade when my best friend, Jen, “changed” over the summer and no longer wanted to play whiffleball.  It was the first time I didn’t understand a woman and would not be the last.

Two years later, I experienced some changes of my own, also lost interest in whiffleball and gained a renewed interest in Jen.  And thus began a new phase of my life: Women.

But while a lot of my friends just wanted to get women, I aspired to get them– to be good at talking to them, being with them and, well, understand them.  I’m not sure if this was out of respect or because I aspire to be good at everything.

Either way, my relationship reviews to date have been pretty positive.  My last girlfriend took a Rate Your Mate quiz and I came up “Straight but Sensitive”.  I was so excited I posted the results on the fridge.  Others have dubbed me introspective and a “great listener” although I suspect the bar for guys is pretty low.  I’ve always just assumed people think what they are saying is important– I know I do– so try to pay attention.

That said, I am very much a guy. I’ve never ironed and believe a hat is a perfectly good substitute for a shower. I even had a bachelor party once— not because I was engaged but because I thought it would be more fun when I was single.  I was right.

And I’ve been fortunate enough to date some amazing women.  Funny, smart and each with their own quirks– from a first amendment lawyer who refused to have sex on a weeknight for fear she’d “lose her edge” in court to the nanny who, quite frankly, had trouble keeping her pants on.

I’ve been on both ends of a broken heart and know that neither one feels good. And, while I don’t erase exes from my cell phone, I do actually put an “x” before their names to remind myself not to call them after cocktails. I’ve had friends call during dates in case I needed saving (we do that too) and assign nicknames to women so my friends know who I’m talking about… I hope Herbivore isn’t reading this.

I’ve had successful relationships (I believe you can call them that even if they end) and some less than proud moments— like the time I ended things with Glad Wrap (she was clingy) by telling her I was moving to France and spent three months tip toeing around New York in fear of running into her.

And while by no means do I claim to now “get” women, I’ve gained humorous observations, helpful insights and classic stories.  So I thought it would be fun to create a place where I could share them all uncensored.

I hope you see some of yourself in these posts.  If nothing else, I hope they make you smile.

-Michael

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One Response to “I couldn’t help but notice…”

  1. Zelda (@zolmos) Says:

    Love this. You keep posting. I’ll keep reading.

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